We all reach moments in which we know something needs to “radically change” either in our relationships, career, spiritual life, health, or any other life areas.
Think for a moment about the times in which you simply couldn’t keep doing or living as you had been up to certain point; you couldn’t continue avoiding your “pain” or “hiding” from a so needed path change. Then, the next question you may had asked yourself was: how to make this change happen? Then, immediately, it’s quite likely that many worry/catastrophic thoughts appeared in your mind, or painful emotions showed up, and even uncomfortable physical sensations were present. Did you continue with or dropped your change plan?
If you continued with your change plan, this post may simply be reminiscence of what you went through.
If you dropped your change plan this post could help you to pick it up where you left it.
It’s not easy to make change happen. An “ideal time to change” or “feeling completely ready to do it” are illusions. However, as psychologist and behaviorally oriented clinician, I fundamentally believe that you can start to change right now, where you are, and with what you have.
Behavior therapy highlights a distinction between “incremental versus long-term behavioral change.” This difference basically invites you to realize that even though you may no have the ideal situation, feel the right emotion, or even have everything that is needed in your environment, you can still take “tiny steps” towards change.
There is one single question you need to answer at this precise moment:
What’s the “one tiny action“ you can take “today” in regard to a particular area in your life you want to change?
Think about this “tiny action” in behavioral terms: what exactly are you going to do, when, for how long, how often, with whom, etc.
For instance, Theresa thought about her “career” as an area of change; she realized that she needed to change her job because she couldn’t continue driving for two hours a day, missing the beginning of the day with her children, and feeling stuck by doing something unfulfilling.
Then she came up with the specific “tiny action” she was going to take:
“Today after lunch break, I’m going to open the craigslist’s webpage and set it up as a my home page.”
Now, it’s your turn:
Choose one area of your life you need to change, one “tiny action,” and start today.
If you read up to this point, there maybe another thought showing up right now, something like: “Taking a tiny action, sounds too simplistic; what I need to change is too complex.”
If that’s the case, I only have two comments for you:
– Sooner or later, you have to choose between the “pain of staying where you are or the pain of change.” You decide.
– If you decide to go ahead with your change plan, you have to start somewhere.
Finally, as B. J. Fogg, an expert on behavior change, points out as well as numerous research studies, there is “simply power in simplicity.”