Dr. Z recently posted a blog on the New Harbinger Publications blog with a tip for therapists helping frazzled parents with emotionally dysregulated teens. She outlines and begins to explain some initial steps to working with these parents from an ACT frame:

1. Create with parents an inventory of all the strategies they have used to manage their teens’ behaviors.
2. Look at the workability of each one of those responses.
   Do these responses work in the short term? Here is what’s important: sometimes parents’ responses stop the teens’ behavior in the moment, and yet, in the long term, it is important to ask parents: are these behaviors taking you closer or further away from the parent you want to be? Do those responses help the relationship with your teen?
3. Check with parents if it’s really helpful to continue pursuing these responses.
4. Ask the parents if we can start paying attention to what they go through when their kids say or do something that is upsetting to them.
5. Invite parents to notice and name the thoughts that come up with when getting triggered by their teens’ behaviors.
6. Assist parents in noticing all the different emotions they go through when getting upset with their kids.
7. Introduce the “cycle of conflict” as a frame to understand the parents’ struggles with their teens.

For the full article, please click here. For more on these steps and how to approach the situation from an ACT lens, check out Dr. Z’s book, Parenting a Troubled Teen.

Posted originally at: https://www.newharbinger.com/blog/what-do-when-parents-come-therapy-and-ask-you-%E2%80%9Cfix%E2%80%9D-their-teen (Erin, July)